Day After Christmas

I have always loved the Day After Christmas. Everything is quite, everyone is peaceful, everyone feels loved. The decorations are still up, Christmas Carols are still appropriate, the refrigerator is FULL of leftovers. Good leftovers. There are absolutely no expectations of what anyone should do.

Radiology was closed Christmas Eve (Friday) so I have three days of no treatments. The last TWO are Monday and Tuesday. Good timing, as I have blistering under my arm (node removal area) and under my boob (chafing.) I am still applying lavender oil and aloe plant aloe twice a day, and wearing the barely there sports bra. I am really pleased at how little skin is burned. Really pleased, and it is so temporary. As you can imagine, I didn't feel like dressing fancy for Christmas, this is a relaxed Christmas for our family.

Christmas Eve we went out to Del Friscos, a local steakhouse. Delicious steak and shrimp and onion rings and Mandarin Cake, high energy atmosphere. A hit with all. We brought a gift for Mack, Tray and Corey to open up at the table. Yes, we had ALL THE KIDS here with us this Christmas, there's the best gift of all. With dessert they opened up their boxes, which each held a Santa Hat. Inside the hats were tickets to the Orlando Magic basketball game at 2:30 Christmas afternoon. They were so surprised and shocked and thrilled. This is hard to do for twenty five to thirty year old kids, but it worked! Did they suspect that this was really a gift to me, of four hours of nap time Christmas afternoon? HA!

Christmas Eve service is magical. Best part, everyone holding their candle aloft, lit from one candle up front, singing Silent Night. Good thought, as we extinguished our candles the pastor told us May the light of God in your hearts continue burning, and may that light shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5).


Light and love.  That pretty much sums Christmas up.


Christmas morning we picked up Pop-Pop, ate some breakfast, opened gifts. How fun it that? Everyone thinking about the other. Stories behind many.  The family left for Magic game, I plopped on the sofa, exhausted. That profound tired. 

Watched EAT LOVE PRAY. I started crying when she was in India. I remember now the moment, Julia Roberts is on the roof with the Texan. He has just told her his story, and he walks off. She was replaying her wedding dance in her mind. Instead of the song they chose together, her husband had them play Celebrate Good Times, and he danced around her. Hmmm. Indicative of their (failed) marriage, he changed with the wind, and didn't consider her needs. She felt invisible, morphed into him. At that moment in the movie, on the roof in India, she is forgiving him. And working on forgiving herself. The Texan says, Do the work, forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself. This is amazingly more difficult to do than you think.
Voices, noise, dogs running in circles, doors shutting. They are home.  I'm up now. Couldn't put on anything fancy, just cotton pants and stretchy shirt. Black stretchy shirt, every woman's secret item. The best sporting event she's ever attended, says Tray.  Turn on Christmas carols, five CD's all set to go. Turkey is in the top oven, stuffing in the bottom one. Just made gravy, with thyme and white wine. Mack remembers T-shirt that said Homonyms are a reel waist of thyme.  Salad is organized. Purchased a mocha Buche de Noel from great French bakery in town, The Croissant Gourmet. That's all the prep I did.  Put out the cheese ball (a gift) and crackers. 

The M's arrive, friends from college thirty two years ago who now live in town.  How cool is that? They brought vegetables and appetizers and rolls. And energy. Two of their kids are in college, so kids and adults are all chatting, in the kitchen. They set the table, bring in chairs, put in the leaf because I miscounted.  Oops! 


Last Christmas we had twenty two, because I wanted to have love and energy so I wouldn't miss Tray and Mack so much. They are married and I know we have to share them with her family. I know that.  Anyway, we had every bring one thing last year to share at dinner that reflected Christmas, such as poem, song, verses. 



This year, thanks to a Tuesday lunch discussion, we all opted for a different route. Everyone was to present a word, ONE WORD, that to them was the word for the coming year. Leaning towards an adjective, but not necessary. Would have been interesting had anyone chosen an article or a preposition. HA! Oh my goodness, it was so cool. I truly thank everyone at the table for this. A new Christmas tradition. Are you wondering what they are? 


Mack - EDUCATIONAL. set on path for higher degree, wife chosen new field. 
S - CHERISH. junior in college, knows this time and relationships are precious.
B - ADVENTURE. year of newness, new places, new structure, new events. zest for stretching. 
A - REALITY. senior in college, next chapter in life, open arms for where, what, who God will bring.
Mike - NORMALCY. as in Calvin Coolidge's "Return to" after WWI. proactive not reactive.
Corey - GENESIS. new beginnings for whole family. he's choosing new field.
Tray - CARING. for husband, in career, for family. 
C - EFFORT. in school, in life, in faith. a chance to step it up. 
C - EVOLUTION. adapting to life events, for the better. redirection.
Doug - CLAIRE. remembering the love of his life.
Sara - VIBRANT. full of life and light and love and health, spilling out on others. 


Looking back on the two days of Christmas, sharing these words at the dinner table was my favorite moment. A moment of hope and future, and a moment of love for each other. Thank you dear hearts.

Think, what was your favorite moment of this Christmas?

Speeding car

With all good and kind intentions, you occasionally hear words spoken for your edification that you can't believe people are truly telling you.

With all good and kind intentions, you occasionally hear words spoken for your edification that you can't believe people are truly telling you.

By more than one person, I have been told to go to a different doctor, use different chemo, to not have radiation, to not have chemo. And some have asked, why didn't I get a mastectomy?

My answer, everyone's situation is unique. I wish them all the best.

Listen to my dream of two nights ago.

I am sitting on the second floor porch of my home growing up, a gray wood sided colonial in Easton Pennsylvania. I am peacefully sitting in a comfy chair with my feet up on an ottoman, it's a pleasant sunny day with nice breeze.

I hear the doorbell ring, but I am almost asleep, so I don't answer it. I figure someone else will. Next I hear a friend's voice calling up to me from the yard next door, we will call her Helga so she remains anonymous to you, "Hey Sara, I want to come up and visit with you. You can spare a few minutes to talk, can't you?"

I look down, I am tired, but she looks like she won't take "no" for an answer. I say, "Come on up."

She appears on the porch (that's the beauty of dreams), and we move to chairs in the shade on the porch as she says she is too hot in the sun. We sit down, we chat for a few minutes. Then she wants to take me for a drive. I am okay about this, and next thing you know we are in a silver Mercedes sedan (I don't know what that means.)

She is driving. Fast. Really fast. On a tree lined country road. We are passing cars, even going onto the shoulder to pass cars.  The trees whip by. We speed past a red truck parked on the side almost hitting it, and I am scared.

I tell her I'm scared that she is going too fast, and she laughs and keeps speeding.

That's the dream.  It makes sense to me this morning. I have been trying to figure it out, and now it makes sense.

As you know, people in dreams are representations of a part of your own self, of the subconscious.  People  aren't in our dreams as themselves. So I try to think, what does that person represent in my life. Particularly, what unsettled emotion in my life does she represent.

Helga was the very first person who suggested a different doctor than the one I chose. She represents me questioning my treatments, questioning the decisions I am making and questioning that the outcome will be total healing.

What does my subconscious want to tell me in this dream? What is unsettled? Don't take even the first step down the path of doubting, as it is a slippery slope. One step, two steps, and I am in a speeding car... it's dangerous. So it's not really an unsettled issue, more of confirmation that I should trust the path I am on. Trust God, don't have my head turned to the left or right. Stay in His presence.

Stop negative thoughts immediately - catch them and throw them out the window. They can be persistent. They can be couched in good intentions. But NO...

Nourish the hope.  Stand firm on what I know.

God will shine light on my path, one stepping stone at a time.
Thank you Lord.