Thursday, December 9, 2010

Freeze the onions, peppers and sausage

Today I have nothing outside the house until 11:30. I have an endocrinologist appointment then, and afterward the longer radiation appointment where they calibrate for the last eight treatments, called the BOOST.  They are more concentrated radiation, focused right on the spot where the tumor was in my breast. Don't know if they target the node which had a tumor, I will ask.

I am in the alternate bra stage, barely there bra. A light sunburn, the most uncomfortable is the skin underneath the breast where the bra hits, and the armpit where the bra hits. But just uncomfortable. And I am positive the achy and tendon soreness is getting better. It doesn't wake me up in the night aching, YEAH!!! What is a better gift than a good night's sleep.

So I have been given ninety minutes this morning. WHO-EEE!

May I make a comment on our lives, December 9th, 2010.

We are all TOO BUSY! Which makes us all STRESSED OUT!

You know it, and knowing you are juggling too many balls in the air at once adds to your STRESS. Thinking about what to say to who, about who needs what, when can you go there to get that, what to cook, what to buy, what to do!

At this age in life (50 to 60 ish) we all acknowledge we want to:
relax more
focus on friends and family
be present in the moment
laugh more
be aware of our own voice
take appropriate care of our own bodies
deepen our faith in God and our relationship with Jesus

We are beyond having busy-ness be a badge of courage, I think. We know that our value as a person depends not on what we do, but on who we are in our hearts, loved always.


Here's how I look at it. We  know where we want to be going. We can picture the person we want to be. We step on the path. Then we get distracted.

If you could see me now, you would see that I have my hand raised, yes I am the first one in line here, I get distracted., I have good intentions and I think I am pretty good at leaning on God in a crisis. But what trips me up is the day to day focus.

I LET myself get distracted. Do you think sometimes I avoid issues in my life by keeping busy? YES I know I do that.

Silly human being, say those sheep.

Getting cancer can be a redirection of your life journey, says Bernie Siegel. I agree with him. Or any disease or big event. Or you could choose to redirect your life journey just because you think about it and choose too.  MUCH easier than getting cancer now, isn't it?

Remember the verse that came to mind when I sat in the radiologist's parking lot back in April, preparing to go in to hear my biopsy results, when I prayed for something from God to hold on to through this whole journey?

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10.

From that, flows everything.

Psalm 23: He is my shepherd, restores my soul, guides me down the path.  Is with me, comforts me, nurtures me, I dwell in his house.

I don't want anyone reading this to feel WORSE about those To Do Lists. Not everything everyday makes us happy. At dinner last week I told Mike and Corey that I wanted to devote one solid day a week again to the college summer baseball league. And each May through August it would be much more. Corey asked, does that make you happy? Good question. Great question. It is an optional thing, as I volunteer. I said, no, it doesn't make me happy, but it makes me feel fulfilled.

So yes, every day I have tried to do one thing towards Christmas. It looks like a huge evergreen tree of tasks each December, so I really think, ask God, set my priorities.  Little by little the Christmas items are happy snowflakes in my life. I don't roast my own turkey, I buy one cooked at Whole Foods, as I don't want the stress of killing my family on Christmas Day with undercooked poultry. For the stuffing, I will saute the onions and peppers and sausage this week and freeze them, and I bought a jar of roasted chestnuts instead of roasting them myself.

These are little shortcuts, but they leave me time to bake Christmas cookies, watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, mall walk, get radiation, write funny tags for the family's Christmas gifts, visit my Dad, and visit friends.

I wish all of you a really joyful time preparing for Christmas. Your gifts to me will be hugs and laughter.