Sharpies Again

Thursday morning I woke up, couldn't lift my head off the pillow. You have probably had this happen, the massage guy called it a "stinger". It is a mad inflamed muscle that is pinching a nerve, and it is temporary. Happened while I was sleeping, just turned the wrong way during the night I guess. It only hurts when you move a certain way. But OH MAMMA it hurts when you do move a certain way. Mine was from the spine around the left central shoulder blade and up into my neck to behind my ear. The trapezius muscle.

This was the day of the BOOST calibration, where I need to lie still with my arms stretched out over my head for, oh, forty five minutes, not the normal ten to fifteen. My arms usually fall asleep in the ten minutes. I just couldn't picture longer today. Phooey, but oh well. I was really upset for the first five minutes I felt this pain. I thought, oh my what if I can't have the BOOST today? Then I realized, it will all work out. God knows how to handle this, and I need to take His direction. Trust Him to heal this, and to guide me what to do.

I asked Corey to drive me, as driving wasn't going to happen.  His last final was Monday, so he is available. Took a hot shower, then Advil. By 9:30 I was ready to brave it. And it was fine. The new position is fine, similar to the first twenty five treatments as I am lying down on  my back, arms stretched as flat as I can do it over my head. My head is turned to the right, which was the way I COULD turn my head. It all worked out.

The new BOOST radiations are four treatments each visit, twenty four to twenty nine seconds each. They still do two x-rays when I first lie down, the doctor looks at them and they shift the table slightly each time to get the target accurate ( called IMRT). Now the Trilogy machine does four stops in its orbit from above my right shoulder to below my left shoulder. I lay still and listen to the Christmas Carols.

Guess how they marked me for this BOOST calibration. Out came the Sharpies again. Am I the only one that finds this ironic? Multi-million dollar Trilogy machine, highly paid doctor and technicians, and they use Sharpies to make three X's and two lines so they can line me up the same way each BOOST treatment. They said they usually tattoo these also, but they thought I could be careful enough to not wash or scrub these Sharpie marks. OH YES, because those tattoos hurt, and one of the X's is right on the nipple. Yee - ow!

Only six more to go, WHO-HOO. I'm getting more sunburned and swollen. No bra, couldn't even think of it. Have my Barely There's and loose fitting shirts. By Friday night, I am tired.

Saturday I woke up, felt like starting a little Christmas Cookie magic, and was exhausted after an hour. EXHAUSTED.

I slept all afternoon. 

So we skipped the Christmas party Saturday night, which was really frustrating as I LOVE going to this one.  I know so many of the people.  There's always next year.

I am able to feel energetic for a few hours at a time, then I crash. Then energetic again. And crash. I don't seem to have any half speed about me. That might be my personality.

Today I took Dad to lunch and Christmas shopping, for things for him to give the folks on his list. He's a jolly seventy nine years old, has had a couple of health issues but keeps on going. Strokes have slowed his mental acuity. He still has a lively sense of humor. He drinks milk at every meal. Maybe that's the secret?

I have been so so lucky to not get sick during radiation treatment. My white blood cells have been below normal since the second week. I have tried tried tried to avoid crowds, and wash my hands constantly. THANK YOU Lord that I am healthy, just tired and sunburned.

The neck muscle is just a little sore now, the pain has diminished continually since Thursday morning. And my other muscle aches that were plaguing me for the past two months have diminished continually also.

I have been resting when my body tells me. Drinking lemon juice in water daily (one lemon's worth per day), yogurt every day, yoga two to three times a week (mainly stretching, we are just starting out), and acupuncture every two weeks. Meditation every afternoon. Love that.

I am trying to modulate my expectations of Christmas this year. All our kids (two sons and daughter in law) will be here for ten days, which is the DREAM of my DREAMS. I want to be healthy and be able to pace my self so I can enjoy times together, and then come and rest. That's the hard part, I don't want to leave the fun or neglect a chore to take a nap. I am a nut about Christmas.

SO this Christmas, more than ever, let me remember what Christmas is really all about. Love.
More than Valentines Day could ever be, Christmas starts and ends in LOVE.

I'll buy Christmas Dinner dessert and I'll skip the party, so I be still and absorb God's love.
May it spill over to those around me.