Day 2 - Put one foot in front of the other
Mike sent this to me today in an e-mail. I love it, from Philippians.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Played tennis with seven women in a round robin. Told them all afterward what I was going through. Some diminished it as so easy to treat which I know was them trying to give me strength, others hugged me and looked like they were going to cry which I know was their sadness and empathy. I truly appreciated the ones who mimicked my tone, kept it light and positive, while acknowledging it would be tough. That was compassion.
The moments are still ninety-five percent positive, and then five percent of the time those fear horses race out of the stalls. I pull them in hard and fast. Bolt the stable door shut. Turn my back to the door and walk away.
Went online today and bought some inspirational books, by C. S. Lewis, Henri Nouwen, Tony Campolo.
Got a new phone, that diverted my attention for 4 hours, figuring it out. I don't want to sit still and wait. I know that was the verse that God sent to me, BE STILL and KNOW THAT I AM GOD... but it wasn't BE STILL AND WAIT FOR IT ALL TO HAPPEN... was it? There's a difference. Yes, I know I am bargaining with God. Humorous isn't it?
I want to keep moving forward. I made the appointment with the oncologist for eight days from today... they need the MRI written report before they see me, and they even needed a fax of my biopsy report before they would schedule the appointment. Wow, this is quite a business. Would anyone really lie about a biopsy finding of cancer?
