Over the past nine months I have written on my IPAD notebook lessons I learned at that given moment. Here they are, in order of being written...
1. Every one has some part of their heart that is fragile, not just people with cancer. Everyone is fighting some battle. Be encouraging to everyone.
2. The saying isn't 'God never gives you more than you can handle.'
It is 'God can handle anything you have.' and He always wins.
3. Choose joy.
4. Do not let the fear horses out of the stable.
5. Jesus will provide for all your needs, even the ones You don't realize you have.
6. It is okay to take care yourself.
7. I need a community.
Figure out a way, your way, to stay close to Jesus. To stay connected to God. When Mom died, M said I glowed. And I felt amazingly peaceful. B said she never felt more alive than when she was going through chemo. Jesus is right here, He is as real as a rock. He is as solid as the chair i am sitting on. So are the prayers of friends. He is abiding in me. I don't want this part to change! This is why some people go to mass every day, to stay connected. I know prayer and bible reading time gets shoved smaller and becomes non existent when I am healthy. I don't want that to happen ever again. God will show me the way.
Remember to thank Jesus for his healing every day, from my toes on up, healing by the blood of the lamb who was slain for me. Healing by the Grace of God.
Don't shy away from people offering you gifts, kind words, opening up to you.
Never refuse a cup of hot tea, especially if it is peppermint.
Heal me God that I might do your will, to your glory, for the rest of my life. From Fr Jim Holbeck sermon online.
Each day, even during chemo and radiation, will be a beautiful day!
Trust God will tell me every step of the way.
I need Jesus.
Busy isn't the goal. If you don't want to be too busy, you won't be. It is your choice. You have a choice.
God will be there in my future. Don't fear it.
Don't let that sun set on your anger. Forgive. Forgive completely, without reservations.
Apologize. As far as is possible, be at peace with everyone. Love them. Pray for them.
Meditate every day.
Choose who you spend your time with. Choose carefully, for you will become like them.
Hang up the superwoman cape. I can't do everything.
Choose to do good. If you know something is wrong, just DON"T DO IT. Don't be tempted, don't rationalize. If you dance too close to the fire, you will get burned at some point. Believe me, doing the right thing and loving unconditionally is far more wild and crazy and fun than choosing the shadows.
Search for people, places, things and events to nourish your soul. It's the only part of you that is eternal.
Take the time to love yourself, so that then, from the overflow, you can spill out love on others.
Live with integrity. What is integrity? Keep your promises. Speak truth. Admit mistakes right away.
Live transparently.
Seek a relationship with God with your whole heart. Being in a community of Christians makes it a lot easier. We are meant to live in community.
Religion is man-made. When you hear something religious, just make sure it holds up under the light of "God is Love."
You have time to do everything that is important to you. Once in awhile, do a self-check and see where you spend most your time, what is important to you.
People who love generously will always feel loved, at some point.
Don't repeatedly tell God your same problems or worries. Tell them to him once or a few times, then live trusting and thanking Him for his answer, even before you see it.
Do not be afraid of darkness. In it you will find your light, and your light will be clearer than ever.
I am one grain of sand on the beach.
Being still is the most exciting part of my day.
Keep your focus on God. All day long.
Sent from my iPad
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Hamster
I'm in my childhood home, in the Williamsburg gray green front hallway. Moravian star light fixture hanging from the center ceiling, glass doors on either side of the hall going into the dining room and living room respectively, staircase ahead. Traditional Colonial center-hallway home.
Mom walks out from the kitchen carrying an empty glass Mason jar. I am my age right now. Mom is young and healthy and energetic, maybe 20 years old. Wearing madras shorts and a white button down shirt with the tails tied in the front at her waist, you know the 1950's look?
She says, Come here. You'll be able to do this.
I follow her into the kitchen. She unscrews the metal top from the glass jar. She bends down to open a bottom cabinet, yellow wood cabinets, reaches the glass jar tentatively way back into the shelves. Then she jumps up. Out from the cabinet scurries a tiny hamster. It darts across the green wooden floor of the kitchen. I easily stoop down, snatch it up in my right hand. I pop it into the glass jar in Mom's hand and she screws on the lid.
I say, It can't breathe. She looks at me. I get a pen, poke a hole in the top metal lid, like we used to do for fireflies in glass jars. The little hamster is peering up at me through the hole I poked. It's not sad, or happy, just surprised. Not agitated. Just looking at me.
I hand the jar back to Mom. I ask, what are you going to do with him?
Mom replies, I'll take him away and let him go.
==================
I wake up. I make myself repeat this dream. I see the kitchen and the cabinet so clearly. Then I picture me stepping into our front hallway and the whole event unfolds again.
Now, the interesting thing is, two nights ago for the first time since Mom died 9 years ago, I talked to Mom. This isn't creepy, she didn't answer back and I didn't expect her to.
I was processing the time post-treatment. How do I not get afraid cancer has returned each time I feel a bump or ache? So I was thinking about this, and about Mom who always prayed for me. So I told her, I knew you are delightfully happy in heaven, and I am so looking forward to being with you there, but not yet. I told her, You are close up there to God. Go tell Him I want to live down here awhile longer.
I see why I would have a dream about Mom the next night. She was on my mind, as my advocate. Remember, dreams aren't really about the person or the thing as much as they your subconscious processing your emotions about what they represent.
Now the hamster? Hmmm. To me, when I think hamster, I think of that wheel. Oh yes, the wheel where they run and run and run, and get nowhere. Our lives sometimes, busy doing the thing we think is important, but it really is just the thing that is staring us in the face at the moment and so we jump aboard and off we go. Busy, busy. Getting nowhere.
Getting stressed out that we are getting nowhere. HA!
So, to me, this dream is saying I am able and capable to take all the things that have occupied me unfulfillingly, and bottle them up and let them go. The part of me that is my advocate tells me I can do this, and it's not a big deal. There isn't a fight, or a battle. Simply a matter of removing.
God will show me who and what and where is best in my life.
For my good.
I can depend on God to guide me in the paths of righteousness.
He will.
And when I need restoring, He will restore.
Thinking about this more, I have learned about myself that I need affirmation from others. I love being part of a team effort. I also love helping others and sometimes being alone. It is all a balance. And all are part of a healthy me.
I feel so much more peace after this dream. Thank you.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Radiation Day 1 - La'Chaim!
Today dear friends is Day 1 of thirty-three radiation treatments.
Every weekday from now till Christmas week.
I understand that this is nothing like Chemo, that the worst is behind me and I am truly grateful.
But I want to finish strong.
That was the point of yesterday's sermon - Finish Strong.
The sermon started out with Leon Lett's story, the defensive tackle who recovered a fumble during the Cowboys Super Bowl XXVII victory over the Bills, but Lett couldn't help showboating on his way to the end zone. He slowed down and danced to celebrate the touchdown, but he was not over the goal line. With the ball in Lett's outstretched hand, Bills receiver Don Beebe caught him from behind and stripped the ball ONE INCH short of the goal line. The ball slid out of the end zone for a touch back. He never scored.
Then we moved to 2 Chronicles 16 and find King Asa of Judah (Israel was split into 2 countries by then, Israel in the north and Judah in the south). Asa started as a righteous man. By the thirty sixth year of his forty one years as king, he stopped relying on God, made treaties with other kings who weren't godly, and basically thought he could do it without God's guidance. WRONG CHOICE.) Sounds like the story of King Henry VIII's reign, for those of you who are Tudor fans.)
I'm thinking Asa didn't one day wake up and say, "Today I have graduated from God's school of life, and I don't need Him anymore." This is the tricky part. It was probably a slow movement away from God. One step off the path. Doesn't even realize his thought is in a direction God doesn't want him to take. Second step off the path, still not in a bad situation, but not where God would put him. Third step, forth, and then fifth, hanging around with a few different counselors (friends for us non-royalty), maybe new activity added. By the time you are on the fifteenth or twentieth step, your path is now headed for a totally different life than God's choice for you. But now you have around you new people and situations that maybe aren't easy to distance from because you have separated from your old life. This new life isn't SO BAD. But it is not so good either.
It is a slippery slope away from the path God shines His light on for me. Why would I veer from it? Because I don't know I am. I don't notice I'm off the path unless I look. So I must not be looking.
If I ask, God will show me. No matter how far off I am, He will lead me back. Just ask. Really.
God is not trying to trick me up, He wants me to look towards Him every day, all day long. And if I simply look to Him, He will guide me on the path of righteousness (definition: acting according to moral law, without guilt or sin.) Pretty spiffy isn't it.
Finish Strong. That's the nudge I needed... yes I will!
I even saw FINISH STRONG for the first time Wednesday, on the side of Olympia High School. When you have a phrase put in front of you twice in a week, it gets your attention.
I had a moment of "verklempt" exiting church yesterday, tears flooded my eyes as I thought, I am scared. I don't know of what. Intellectually I'm not scared. Just an emotional moment. It was a moment, then it passed. Lunch with B, didn't even talk all about me being scared. It's not the words but the love that carries us through.
Toasts at dinner last night with more dear friends, To all our healing, To being radiant through radiation, To glowing, To good friends, To our families, With much Gratitude, La'Chaim!
So, FINISH STRONG. As I come to the next chapter in this adventure, I will finish strong. I will keep my eyes on Jesus, spend time with God. I will cooperate with the radiation, picturing the Ray of Light which shines in the darkness. The darkness will not overcome it.
Thank you for your continued prayers for healing.
Thank God for the healing that we already see,
and Thank God for the healing that we will be seeing.
Every weekday from now till Christmas week.
I understand that this is nothing like Chemo, that the worst is behind me and I am truly grateful.
But I want to finish strong.
That was the point of yesterday's sermon - Finish Strong.
The sermon started out with Leon Lett's story, the defensive tackle who recovered a fumble during the Cowboys Super Bowl XXVII victory over the Bills, but Lett couldn't help showboating on his way to the end zone. He slowed down and danced to celebrate the touchdown, but he was not over the goal line. With the ball in Lett's outstretched hand, Bills receiver Don Beebe caught him from behind and stripped the ball ONE INCH short of the goal line. The ball slid out of the end zone for a touch back. He never scored.
Then we moved to 2 Chronicles 16 and find King Asa of Judah (Israel was split into 2 countries by then, Israel in the north and Judah in the south). Asa started as a righteous man. By the thirty sixth year of his forty one years as king, he stopped relying on God, made treaties with other kings who weren't godly, and basically thought he could do it without God's guidance. WRONG CHOICE.) Sounds like the story of King Henry VIII's reign, for those of you who are Tudor fans.)
I'm thinking Asa didn't one day wake up and say, "Today I have graduated from God's school of life, and I don't need Him anymore." This is the tricky part. It was probably a slow movement away from God. One step off the path. Doesn't even realize his thought is in a direction God doesn't want him to take. Second step off the path, still not in a bad situation, but not where God would put him. Third step, forth, and then fifth, hanging around with a few different counselors (friends for us non-royalty), maybe new activity added. By the time you are on the fifteenth or twentieth step, your path is now headed for a totally different life than God's choice for you. But now you have around you new people and situations that maybe aren't easy to distance from because you have separated from your old life. This new life isn't SO BAD. But it is not so good either.
It is a slippery slope away from the path God shines His light on for me. Why would I veer from it? Because I don't know I am. I don't notice I'm off the path unless I look. So I must not be looking.
If I ask, God will show me. No matter how far off I am, He will lead me back. Just ask. Really.
God is not trying to trick me up, He wants me to look towards Him every day, all day long. And if I simply look to Him, He will guide me on the path of righteousness (definition: acting according to moral law, without guilt or sin.) Pretty spiffy isn't it.
Finish Strong. That's the nudge I needed... yes I will!
I even saw FINISH STRONG for the first time Wednesday, on the side of Olympia High School. When you have a phrase put in front of you twice in a week, it gets your attention.
I had a moment of "verklempt" exiting church yesterday, tears flooded my eyes as I thought, I am scared. I don't know of what. Intellectually I'm not scared. Just an emotional moment. It was a moment, then it passed. Lunch with B, didn't even talk all about me being scared. It's not the words but the love that carries us through.
Toasts at dinner last night with more dear friends, To all our healing, To being radiant through radiation, To glowing, To good friends, To our families, With much Gratitude, La'Chaim!
So, FINISH STRONG. As I come to the next chapter in this adventure, I will finish strong. I will keep my eyes on Jesus, spend time with God. I will cooperate with the radiation, picturing the Ray of Light which shines in the darkness. The darkness will not overcome it.
Thank you for your continued prayers for healing.
Thank God for the healing that we already see,
and Thank God for the healing that we will be seeing.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Three Stones in the Desert
I have three stones in my pocket. You know the small, polished, rounded stones with a word chiseled on them? These are grayish brown and just a little larger than a quarter. One says "tired", one says "long", one says "vital." I finger them in my pocket, take them out and look at them, put them back.
I am peaceful and quiet, walking very slowly on a sand and dirt single lane road through a vast open Arizona-type desert. Only flatness to my left and right, and I don't know what is behind me or where I came from, for in this entire day dream I never look back over my shoulder, nor do I ever want to turn around.
Flatness to my left and right. Tumbleweeds and sandstone rocks, mainly patches of dry open desert. The road is arrow straight. I am alone walking. Walking. Walking. I am wearing beige and brown loose clothes, and brown sturdy sandals. I have no scarf or hat on, no hair. The sun is not too bright, even though I am not wearing sunglasses.
The road leads to a rocky hill, dark brown and reddish with some green showing in the crags. It is not a smooth hill, it is folding and undulating. It is miles and miles away, just a bump on the horizon. A hill in the middle of the desert.
But I am peaceful. I am not thirsty or scared or lonely in the least. I question myself, Why I am not scared? I don't answer with words. I just shrug my shoulders and smile and keep walking. Some voice from above my head asks me how I feel. I answer, "tired." One of the words on my stones.
There are rough stones and rocks strewn everywhere on the ground, dust at each step. Walk past a sign next to the road. It says, "I am with you always", which is from the end of Matthew.
I tilt my head up, I can feel God's presence here. All around me. I am tired, but I keep walking. Peaceful. Walking slowly.
I warp ahead to the foot of the hill (aren't dreams great like that.) The path goes around a corner that was hidden by a rocky wall. I am now at a stream about eight feet wide. The other side of the stream is green and lush, and smells of cool breezes and flowers. There are gorgeous trees over there with big personalities. It is a verdant English countryside forest with filtered light and blue butterflies and white daisies.
There is a small bridge of roped-together planks, swinging and rickety. Jesus is standing on this side of the bridge. He puts out his hand towards me. I give him my three stones. I get it, that the stone saying "long" is my fear. I have handed it to Him, He has taken it from me.
He takes my hand and helps me cross the bridge. He silently lets go of my hand and walks away. I am so relieved to be safe on the other side. I end the dream standing there, just smiling ear to ear. Taking in the cool and the beauty and the peacefulness.
The three stones, here's my thoughts:
"tired" is how I feel now. Simple to figure this one out. He will restore my soul, He will recharge me. Not much emotion with this one, I'm just tired.
"long" is my fear. This is a long journey. Sometimes it seems so difficult. Can I keep on going? Am I doing it right? And will I succeed? I have always thought that I am good in a crisis, but boy it is so much more difficult to be disciplined and committed for the long haul. It is human nature to loose focus and patience and to keep on the path day after day after day. To stay in His presence all day long. "I can do it, I can do it" and then the next morning "Do I have to do it again?"
"vital" is my future. I want to live, not only just survive but LIVE with capital letters. I want to be enthusiastic for all God wants me to do here on earth. I want to be free from worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. I want to be filled with the Spirit and let His love overflow through me and out onto every single person I am with. I want the priorities of my life to be corrected. I have never thought of the word "vital", but it's a good one. I want to live so that God gets the credit.
I have handed these three to Jesus, my fear, my future and my present. He is in control and what a wonderful thing that is for me.
I take this dream as encouragement. My life is entering a new chapter. This past week my body has been reacting to chemo, first zapping cancer cells then getting to the work of healing the healthy part of my body, once again. It is like walking through a desert at times. Interesting that I wasn't scared or lonely in this dream. Fantastic that I got a glimpse of the "vital" future, the green and lush and healthy.
I will be patient. He will guide me there.
Flatness to my left and right. Tumbleweeds and sandstone rocks, mainly patches of dry open desert. The road is arrow straight. I am alone walking. Walking. Walking. I am wearing beige and brown loose clothes, and brown sturdy sandals. I have no scarf or hat on, no hair. The sun is not too bright, even though I am not wearing sunglasses.
The road leads to a rocky hill, dark brown and reddish with some green showing in the crags. It is not a smooth hill, it is folding and undulating. It is miles and miles away, just a bump on the horizon. A hill in the middle of the desert.
But I am peaceful. I am not thirsty or scared or lonely in the least. I question myself, Why I am not scared? I don't answer with words. I just shrug my shoulders and smile and keep walking. Some voice from above my head asks me how I feel. I answer, "tired." One of the words on my stones.
There are rough stones and rocks strewn everywhere on the ground, dust at each step. Walk past a sign next to the road. It says, "I am with you always", which is from the end of Matthew.
I tilt my head up, I can feel God's presence here. All around me. I am tired, but I keep walking. Peaceful. Walking slowly.
I warp ahead to the foot of the hill (aren't dreams great like that.) The path goes around a corner that was hidden by a rocky wall. I am now at a stream about eight feet wide. The other side of the stream is green and lush, and smells of cool breezes and flowers. There are gorgeous trees over there with big personalities. It is a verdant English countryside forest with filtered light and blue butterflies and white daisies.
There is a small bridge of roped-together planks, swinging and rickety. Jesus is standing on this side of the bridge. He puts out his hand towards me. I give him my three stones. I get it, that the stone saying "long" is my fear. I have handed it to Him, He has taken it from me.
He takes my hand and helps me cross the bridge. He silently lets go of my hand and walks away. I am so relieved to be safe on the other side. I end the dream standing there, just smiling ear to ear. Taking in the cool and the beauty and the peacefulness.
The three stones, here's my thoughts:
"tired" is how I feel now. Simple to figure this one out. He will restore my soul, He will recharge me. Not much emotion with this one, I'm just tired.
"long" is my fear. This is a long journey. Sometimes it seems so difficult. Can I keep on going? Am I doing it right? And will I succeed? I have always thought that I am good in a crisis, but boy it is so much more difficult to be disciplined and committed for the long haul. It is human nature to loose focus and patience and to keep on the path day after day after day. To stay in His presence all day long. "I can do it, I can do it" and then the next morning "Do I have to do it again?"
"vital" is my future. I want to live, not only just survive but LIVE with capital letters. I want to be enthusiastic for all God wants me to do here on earth. I want to be free from worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. I want to be filled with the Spirit and let His love overflow through me and out onto every single person I am with. I want the priorities of my life to be corrected. I have never thought of the word "vital", but it's a good one. I want to live so that God gets the credit.
I have handed these three to Jesus, my fear, my future and my present. He is in control and what a wonderful thing that is for me.
I take this dream as encouragement. My life is entering a new chapter. This past week my body has been reacting to chemo, first zapping cancer cells then getting to the work of healing the healthy part of my body, once again. It is like walking through a desert at times. Interesting that I wasn't scared or lonely in this dream. Fantastic that I got a glimpse of the "vital" future, the green and lush and healthy.
I will be patient. He will guide me there.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Chemo # 6 - Bring it on!
Hey there TEAM SARA!
Tomorrow is the LAST CHEMO.
Tuesday at 1:30 ... I am ready and waiting!
I have a "Bring it on" attitude today. Have never had this before a Chemo. Have had it since I woke up. I am ready to zap these little guys. My body is ready to be healthy now and after Chemo. I am so ready to do this!
Today I have taken the dexamethasone steroid (as usual) and therefore I am hyperactive. You get a lot accomplished today.
I am bursting to tell you all what happened today.
I woke up and saw that the incisions area is still swollen and red. Not pink but bordering on red. Oh phooey, but I am still positive that healing is happening.
I had coffee with Corey, texted with Tray and Mack, walked in the Millenia Mall with D and S, had fantastic Chinese Chicken Chopped Salad for lunch, all is well and the same as the past 5 chemos..
Went to acupuncture. After chatting I got onto the acupuncture table and OH MY GOODNESS the whole area is barely barely barely pink and you would never ever call it swollen to look at. OH MY GOSH and GOLLY. It is cool to the touch, and there is no stinging or burning feeling, which has been there for a few days. I can't see any red. I have been on strong antibiotics for twelve days. It was red and swollen this morning. AH!
My first words were to God, "Thank you Thank you Thank you. Oh, Oh Oh (which means speechless.) I am so amazed. This is unbelievable! My infection is gone, the lymph is draining. Prayer really does work!"
Then I sit there and sigh, why are we so surprised when prayer works. Is this really the best response to a answered prayer I could have? Isn't God patient with us that over and over again He whispers to us that He loves us, because we can never hear it enough. Never.
How frustrated I would be with one of my kids if I told them something such as, "Yes I will pick you up from school at 3 PM" and I do pick them up that day, and the next, and the next. And each time they get in the car, they say to me, "Mom, Thank you! I am so amazed you did what you said you would do!"
Doubt.
I asked, Can I trust God one hundred percent with my life and obviously have a kernel of doubt? Just a smidgen. I have asked God to reduce my doubt, chisel away at it. And He has and is. But this real life test showed me there is still some lingering.
I am okay with that. My trust in God is far greater than my doubting. Doubt just means you have some fear sticking around, and since God is patient, I am patient. He and I together are working on cleaning out all the fear and doubt. Yes, the cliche, I am a work in progress. He's not done with me yet!
This very concept was talked about Wednesday night, Mike and I went to our new church's class on becoming a partner. One question was, "What is faith and can you have faith but still have some doubt?"
Being the couch-potato-watching-Jeopardy type of person, I wanted to jump up and say, Let me cover this one preacher! And the question is, What is Hebrews 11:1? Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
But no, the pastor paused, read 1 Cor 13
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
He was so spot on. So very very correct. He understand what was being asked. We don't just see everything crystal clear. God allows us to see some things that clearly, and what a gift. Some things we are simply in the process of seeing clearly. Be gentle on myself Sara, you don't have to have it all perfect NOW. Jesus is patient.
The thought of doubt was also on the mediation tape by Colleen Arnold. It was the story of Peter (the disciple with enthusiasm and energy and the very best of intentions) on a boat, well, read it below from Matthew 14:
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Jesus was looking at me, when I doubted, with compassion and forgiveness. Ever patient with me that my doubting will reduce. And my trust in Him grow. Ever patient.
During acupuncture, I visualized healing differently. It wasn't a conscious change.
I saw one strong hand pinching and flicking (like the paper football game) and punching tiny bristly neon green bacteria cells and plump randomly shaped little red cancer cells with black nuclei. The remains of the cells (picture the feathers of crashed Angry Birds) were being washed out by clear water, pure and cool. I pictured little rivulets of my lymph system creating new pathways towards the thoracic vein and the small intestine. And I saw the hand become the hand of a potter on brown gray clay, smoothing and refreshing my heart from the inside, smoothing my digestive system, lungs, liver, kidneys, spleen, and then the hand patting gently and nurturing my spongy alive bone marrow.
Please, if I might ask you all to pray for me.
1. Thank God for the healing we've seen in the past six months, even today, and also will see soon.
2. That God inspire Dr. M and the nurses as they decide and carry out chemo tomorrow.
3. That the chemo drugs zap any lingering cancer cells anywhere, direct hits, I'm picturing "Angry Birds" mega red bird hits.
4. Thank God that the infection we have been fighting is healed and we are seeing evidence.
5. That the rest of my body stay and rebuild strong and healthy.
6. That glory be reflected to God throughout this week.
7. That my family and friends be blessed as you are so loya.
CHEMO.... BRING IT ON
THANK YOU for your prayers... each of you are awesome
Tomorrow is the LAST CHEMO.
Tuesday at 1:30 ... I am ready and waiting!
I have a "Bring it on" attitude today. Have never had this before a Chemo. Have had it since I woke up. I am ready to zap these little guys. My body is ready to be healthy now and after Chemo. I am so ready to do this!
Today I have taken the dexamethasone steroid (as usual) and therefore I am hyperactive. You get a lot accomplished today.
I am bursting to tell you all what happened today.
I woke up and saw that the incisions area is still swollen and red. Not pink but bordering on red. Oh phooey, but I am still positive that healing is happening.
I had coffee with Corey, texted with Tray and Mack, walked in the Millenia Mall with D and S, had fantastic Chinese Chicken Chopped Salad for lunch, all is well and the same as the past 5 chemos..
Went to acupuncture. After chatting I got onto the acupuncture table and OH MY GOODNESS the whole area is barely barely barely pink and you would never ever call it swollen to look at. OH MY GOSH and GOLLY. It is cool to the touch, and there is no stinging or burning feeling, which has been there for a few days. I can't see any red. I have been on strong antibiotics for twelve days. It was red and swollen this morning. AH!
My first words were to God, "Thank you Thank you Thank you. Oh, Oh Oh (which means speechless.) I am so amazed. This is unbelievable! My infection is gone, the lymph is draining. Prayer really does work!"
Then I sit there and sigh, why are we so surprised when prayer works. Is this really the best response to a answered prayer I could have? Isn't God patient with us that over and over again He whispers to us that He loves us, because we can never hear it enough. Never.
How frustrated I would be with one of my kids if I told them something such as, "Yes I will pick you up from school at 3 PM" and I do pick them up that day, and the next, and the next. And each time they get in the car, they say to me, "Mom, Thank you! I am so amazed you did what you said you would do!"
Doubt.
I asked, Can I trust God one hundred percent with my life and obviously have a kernel of doubt? Just a smidgen. I have asked God to reduce my doubt, chisel away at it. And He has and is. But this real life test showed me there is still some lingering.
I am okay with that. My trust in God is far greater than my doubting. Doubt just means you have some fear sticking around, and since God is patient, I am patient. He and I together are working on cleaning out all the fear and doubt. Yes, the cliche, I am a work in progress. He's not done with me yet!
This very concept was talked about Wednesday night, Mike and I went to our new church's class on becoming a partner. One question was, "What is faith and can you have faith but still have some doubt?"
Being the couch-potato-watching-Jeopardy type of person, I wanted to jump up and say, Let me cover this one preacher! And the question is, What is Hebrews 11:1? Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
But no, the pastor paused, read 1 Cor 13
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
He was so spot on. So very very correct. He understand what was being asked. We don't just see everything crystal clear. God allows us to see some things that clearly, and what a gift. Some things we are simply in the process of seeing clearly. Be gentle on myself Sara, you don't have to have it all perfect NOW. Jesus is patient.
The thought of doubt was also on the mediation tape by Colleen Arnold. It was the story of Peter (the disciple with enthusiasm and energy and the very best of intentions) on a boat, well, read it below from Matthew 14:
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Jesus was looking at me, when I doubted, with compassion and forgiveness. Ever patient with me that my doubting will reduce. And my trust in Him grow. Ever patient.
During acupuncture, I visualized healing differently. It wasn't a conscious change.
I saw one strong hand pinching and flicking (like the paper football game) and punching tiny bristly neon green bacteria cells and plump randomly shaped little red cancer cells with black nuclei. The remains of the cells (picture the feathers of crashed Angry Birds) were being washed out by clear water, pure and cool. I pictured little rivulets of my lymph system creating new pathways towards the thoracic vein and the small intestine. And I saw the hand become the hand of a potter on brown gray clay, smoothing and refreshing my heart from the inside, smoothing my digestive system, lungs, liver, kidneys, spleen, and then the hand patting gently and nurturing my spongy alive bone marrow.
Please, if I might ask you all to pray for me.
1. Thank God for the healing we've seen in the past six months, even today, and also will see soon.
2. That God inspire Dr. M and the nurses as they decide and carry out chemo tomorrow.
3. That the chemo drugs zap any lingering cancer cells anywhere, direct hits, I'm picturing "Angry Birds" mega red bird hits.
4. Thank God that the infection we have been fighting is healed and we are seeing evidence.
5. That the rest of my body stay and rebuild strong and healthy.
6. That glory be reflected to God throughout this week.
7. That my family and friends be blessed as you are so loya.
CHEMO.... BRING IT ON
THANK YOU for your prayers... each of you are awesome
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Email responses
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There has never even been one nanosecond in my mind that you couldn't do this also. You are SO SURVIVING. With everyone around to lean on for strength, and for God's strength, oohyeah! Will pray for your remainder of the week to go quickly and with great healing hands with you every minute!
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To be honest, your e-mail made me cry this AM. I am praying for you, as you would like. Your optimism makes me feel better. Isn't it always nice that we can think about something else, i.e. the street lights. At least for a second to give our mind a break from our worries.
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Praying for you. I think the issue with the street lights is due to Mike's electrifying personality. Love you, health just keeps coming towards you.
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You continue in my prayers and thoughts. U and I were talking about you and Mike last evening. I am sure you felt our good thoughts and words coming your way. Your strength, focus on the positive and faith will get you through #5, and your family and friends will make it all easier. And you have ONLY ONE LEFT!!
Bravery and positive thinking, Two things that I am sure have and will continue to get you through with flying colors to beat the cancer out of every single place it may want to hide or stay.
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My prayers and all good thoughts are with you today Sara and may the grace of God and peace of God that surpasses all of our understanding, be with you throughout the day and provide you with that inner peace that will see you through it all.......
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Here's a photo of a labyrinth newly created in a dear friend's yard in CT. She walked it lifting me up for healing!
(commenting on Mike putting out street lights) My first guess is that Mike is so full of (God's) light, he doesn't need electricity! :)
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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I will be diligent in keeping you in my prayers -- thereby keeping you forefront in God's heart.
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We're praying for you and you'll do GREAT!!!
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Your strength and spirits sound UP!
I love the 23 Psalm. It has always been one of my favorites since a very young age. I hope our sons have committed it to memory but I don't think they had to memorize as we did at an early age. (Test them - LOL) Your comments about it are perfect! We are praying for you and Mike.
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I am praying for you both right now – LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I have been praying for you today and then so enjoyed getting your email. God definitely has a plan for you to do awesome things!
I now know specifically what prayers are needed for you and Mike which always makes it a bit more personal to me...God already knows : ) . I do hope that you have a much easier time with your chemo.
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Just a note to say we are thinking of you. Yesterday we were in church. Our youngest son E was with us, he is 8 years old. I remember when I was diagnosed with cancer I felt very emotional in church as I felt such a strong peace that God truly had His arms around me. E spent about 5 extra minutes on his knees after communion. After church I asked him if he was praying for his grandmother (who was with us and has a chronic illness) the whole time. He said "no, other people too, like Sara Whiting".
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Your name came up during a conversation between friends at the beach recently and I wanted to send you a note and let you know you are in our prayers for a speedy recovery!!!
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I hope yesterday’s chemo #5 went well and please know that I’m thinking about you and praying for nos. 1, 2 and 3 on your email yesterday!!! I know in my heart that the chemo is doing its job and that God is protecting your bone marrow, nervous system and heart!!! I’ll be lifting you and Mike up to Him today and every day until you’re well!!
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I hope yesterday’s chemo #5 went well and please know that I’m thinking about you and praying for nos. 1, 2 and 3 on your email yesterday!!! I know in my heart that the chemo is doing its job and that God is protecting your bone marrow, nervous system and heart!!! I’ll be lifting you and Mike up to Him today and every day until you’re well!!
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I know you are putting up a fierce battle when you are not around, and I know when you reach that finish line, it will be one of the most glorious days of your life.
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In my crazy brain I have a jillion random sentences for you, that I have yet to pen.Here is one, After reading, actually, while reading one of your blog posts the Lord had me singing the song " I need Thee every hour" an old and simple hymn that speaks of our need for Him.
I see the Holy Spirit imparting His peace, courage and strength to you. Such a lovely way to bring Him glory.
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First I had a dream about you last night. I don't know what it was, but it was long and we spent so much time together. I can't help but think it's because you are on my mind and your name is on the white board I have in my office that helps me be a little more organized with my prayers.
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On the flamingos:
HOW CUTE! I say leave them up so you can smile every time you come home.
Lunch was fun and you look wonderful. WOW – I love it. Just make sure that they don’t leave too much “Flamingo Dirt” on the lawn….it is heck getting it off the espadrilles!
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I'm so glad to hear you are through with CHEMO #5. I continue to pray for you and Mike and know in my heart that you will be okay. I believe you will be healed of this disease. I believe the love you and Mike have for each other and the love you have of the Lord will get you through anything.
It sounds like you have quite a few friends who keep you active. You are indeed a blessed woman. I agree with you on the 23rd Psalm. It is actually the first thing I memorized from the Bible.
Any way, you and Mike take care of yourselves and each other and I will keep you both in my prayers. May God be with you and Bless you Always!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Ramping up for Chemo #4 - Attitude
I'm starting with a hat trick of quotes from 3 wise men: Bernie Siegel, Chuck Swindoll, and St. Paul. All on attitude.
When disappointments and setbacks occur, learn to view them as events that will redirect you to something good. Bernie Siegel
The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. Chuck Swindoll
Philippians 2:5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
It's the Monday before Chemo #4 on Tuesday.
This might be the last one, or there might be two more, that's the conversation we're having with Dr. M tomorrow. I want two more, because I want to make sure every single errant cell is zapped. But he was leaning towards only four because Chemo is hard on your body, and I will next go to radiation.
I am right between two protocols. Stage 2 Invasive Breast Cancer with no nodes involved was four Taxotere plus Cytoxan treatments, and with nodes involved was eight treatments. I had only one node involved. Just one. So we briefly talked about six treatments. I want to get all the cancer cells gone, no change for recurrence. I do think that whatever Dr. M decides (I will give it my all for six) will be the right decision. I've been praying that the Holy Spirit give him clear insight into what my body needs right now for full healing. So He will.
Fantastic weekend at the beach with Mike, Corey and T. We went to the same hotel as in May, which was the weekend before Chemo #1. They have great deals at beach hotels during the summer... We sat under the umbrellas with SPF 55 on, came out of the sun mid-day. I don't think I got a lick of tan, but that's the point.
Took our IPADS so we played Scrabble, and we have a new game (for us), Balderdash. Oh my goodness, laughing until tears are falling. I am surrounded by very creative, funny and loving people in this family.
I have to add these two photos. Mike and Corey in the first are doing the typical pose of two guys on the beach with a football.
In the second photo, they look as if this spheroid object just washed up on the beach and they are trying to figure out what it is? In reality, they were looking at the writing on the football, because these two orderly guys wanted to make sure the words were facing front and in full view when the photo was taken. I just love it!
At one point it hit us, compare who we are right now to who we were only three months ago sitting in the very same beach chairs.
First, I am now certain God has healed me completely, it is getting worked out through the chemo and radiation and my body's immune system is getting back into working order. Three months ago in my mind I was certain, and I was asking God to bring my emotions and believing up to one hundred percent. He has done that, I am peaceful and secure knowing Jesus is the healer.
Secondly, on the same topic, I had decided in May to trust God for His help during Chemo #1. Now it is so much easier to lean over into Him during Chemo #4, knowing that He has been there every second of the way for the first three chemos. I FEEL certain He will be here this time too. I still have blips of thoughts - oh darn, how did these three weeks in between chemos fly so fast, have I done all I need to do to prepare.. But those are blips and I pick them up out of my thoughts and throw them up to Jesus, and bring back the thought- thank you for healing me, thank you for being right here with me, thank you for the peace that passes all understanding.
Thirdly, How thankful I am to all you who are helping, in ways that might seem small to you but they are HUGE MOUNTAINS of LOVE AND KINDNESS to me and to Mike. Every word, e-mail, phone message, meal, flower, prayer, mall walk, walk anywhere, devoting days to me, lunch, tea, hand sanitizer packets, air aromatherapy, car ride, soup, book, pashmina, movies, etc are beautiful times for me to see God's love in action. And I know this is tiring, as this has been going on since the end of April. But you guys are all so good to hang in there with me! It is as if each kindness is a flower, and all together they compose the most beautiful bouquet, or really a breath-taking field of wildflowers!
I can empathize with Henri Nouwen when he talks about his need for community. I need community. I do not want to exist separate from others. But yet, I want to look to Jesus for my affirmation of worth as a person. And believe me, He thinks you and I and all of us are just the apple of His eye. He loves each of us unconditionally, which is just mind-boggling. Because of this, when I'm with my community, I can hopefully be evidence of His love for others as well as sharing in some for myself.
This all gets me back to the verse He gave me in the parking lot before I got the first biopsy results - Be still and know that I am God, Psalm 46. I have never been as still as I have been these past four and a half months. Especially in acupuncture. You have to lie really really still for thirty minutes which I said I could NEVER do, but, well, never say never. It is the best time for prayer and contemplative prayer, just repeating over and over slowly with your breathing. I started out with the verse from Psalms, but now I say the beginning of Psalm 23. You know, that is such a great Psalm. No wonder it is the most asked for Psalm in hospitals.
And then fourthly, I know I am being redirected. I want it to stick. I want God to change me how He wants, redirect my path, and I want to stay on it.
I think there is no such thing as "I don't have enough time for that". We all spend our time where we want, and if something is important to you, you will put it as a priority and it will get done. It is my highest priority to stay focused on Jesus, to continue growing in my relationship with Him, to keep my face pointed towards God.
Maybe that's a key - keep growing. Just like any relationship, people change. God doesn't change, but I do. So my relationship with Him, just like my marriage and how I interact with my kids, must keep growing and flexing through the years to stay vibrant and alive and appropriate. My boys are twenty five and twenty nine, so I have a far different relationship with them as I did twenty years ago. Mike and I have been married thirty two years, now we are empty nesters, and helping each other heal. A far different relationship than ten years ago or twenty. And each time we flex and redirect, we grow closer.
With God, I would stagnate if I stayed exactly with Him like I am now. God doesn't want me to learn about Him and then put Him up on my library shelf, as if He were the concept of permutations and combinations, you learn about them, and then store that knowledge and rarely use it. Only when someone asks you in daily conversation, How many ways could these seven Scrabble letters be combined? you could figure out the answer.
No, No, He is a living God, who is watching over me. He is my Shepherd, He restores my soul. He leads me to still waters, leads me down paths of righteousness for His name's sake. He has plans for Mike and I. And we want to do whatever He asks.
We have to listen.
Heal me oh Lord, that I might do your will to your glory, for the rest of my life.
When disappointments and setbacks occur, learn to view them as events that will redirect you to something good. Bernie Siegel
The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. Chuck Swindoll
Philippians 2:5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
It's the Monday before Chemo #4 on Tuesday.
This might be the last one, or there might be two more, that's the conversation we're having with Dr. M tomorrow. I want two more, because I want to make sure every single errant cell is zapped. But he was leaning towards only four because Chemo is hard on your body, and I will next go to radiation.
I am right between two protocols. Stage 2 Invasive Breast Cancer with no nodes involved was four Taxotere plus Cytoxan treatments, and with nodes involved was eight treatments. I had only one node involved. Just one. So we briefly talked about six treatments. I want to get all the cancer cells gone, no change for recurrence. I do think that whatever Dr. M decides (I will give it my all for six) will be the right decision. I've been praying that the Holy Spirit give him clear insight into what my body needs right now for full healing. So He will.
Fantastic weekend at the beach with Mike, Corey and T. We went to the same hotel as in May, which was the weekend before Chemo #1. They have great deals at beach hotels during the summer... We sat under the umbrellas with SPF 55 on, came out of the sun mid-day. I don't think I got a lick of tan, but that's the point.
Took our IPADS so we played Scrabble, and we have a new game (for us), Balderdash. Oh my goodness, laughing until tears are falling. I am surrounded by very creative, funny and loving people in this family.
I have to add these two photos. Mike and Corey in the first are doing the typical pose of two guys on the beach with a football.
In the second photo, they look as if this spheroid object just washed up on the beach and they are trying to figure out what it is? In reality, they were looking at the writing on the football, because these two orderly guys wanted to make sure the words were facing front and in full view when the photo was taken. I just love it!At one point it hit us, compare who we are right now to who we were only three months ago sitting in the very same beach chairs.
First, I am now certain God has healed me completely, it is getting worked out through the chemo and radiation and my body's immune system is getting back into working order. Three months ago in my mind I was certain, and I was asking God to bring my emotions and believing up to one hundred percent. He has done that, I am peaceful and secure knowing Jesus is the healer.
Secondly, on the same topic, I had decided in May to trust God for His help during Chemo #1. Now it is so much easier to lean over into Him during Chemo #4, knowing that He has been there every second of the way for the first three chemos. I FEEL certain He will be here this time too. I still have blips of thoughts - oh darn, how did these three weeks in between chemos fly so fast, have I done all I need to do to prepare.. But those are blips and I pick them up out of my thoughts and throw them up to Jesus, and bring back the thought- thank you for healing me, thank you for being right here with me, thank you for the peace that passes all understanding.
Thirdly, How thankful I am to all you who are helping, in ways that might seem small to you but they are HUGE MOUNTAINS of LOVE AND KINDNESS to me and to Mike. Every word, e-mail, phone message, meal, flower, prayer, mall walk, walk anywhere, devoting days to me, lunch, tea, hand sanitizer packets, air aromatherapy, car ride, soup, book, pashmina, movies, etc are beautiful times for me to see God's love in action. And I know this is tiring, as this has been going on since the end of April. But you guys are all so good to hang in there with me! It is as if each kindness is a flower, and all together they compose the most beautiful bouquet, or really a breath-taking field of wildflowers!
I can empathize with Henri Nouwen when he talks about his need for community. I need community. I do not want to exist separate from others. But yet, I want to look to Jesus for my affirmation of worth as a person. And believe me, He thinks you and I and all of us are just the apple of His eye. He loves each of us unconditionally, which is just mind-boggling. Because of this, when I'm with my community, I can hopefully be evidence of His love for others as well as sharing in some for myself.
This all gets me back to the verse He gave me in the parking lot before I got the first biopsy results - Be still and know that I am God, Psalm 46. I have never been as still as I have been these past four and a half months. Especially in acupuncture. You have to lie really really still for thirty minutes which I said I could NEVER do, but, well, never say never. It is the best time for prayer and contemplative prayer, just repeating over and over slowly with your breathing. I started out with the verse from Psalms, but now I say the beginning of Psalm 23. You know, that is such a great Psalm. No wonder it is the most asked for Psalm in hospitals.
And then fourthly, I know I am being redirected. I want it to stick. I want God to change me how He wants, redirect my path, and I want to stay on it.
I think there is no such thing as "I don't have enough time for that". We all spend our time where we want, and if something is important to you, you will put it as a priority and it will get done. It is my highest priority to stay focused on Jesus, to continue growing in my relationship with Him, to keep my face pointed towards God.
Maybe that's a key - keep growing. Just like any relationship, people change. God doesn't change, but I do. So my relationship with Him, just like my marriage and how I interact with my kids, must keep growing and flexing through the years to stay vibrant and alive and appropriate. My boys are twenty five and twenty nine, so I have a far different relationship with them as I did twenty years ago. Mike and I have been married thirty two years, now we are empty nesters, and helping each other heal. A far different relationship than ten years ago or twenty. And each time we flex and redirect, we grow closer.
With God, I would stagnate if I stayed exactly with Him like I am now. God doesn't want me to learn about Him and then put Him up on my library shelf, as if He were the concept of permutations and combinations, you learn about them, and then store that knowledge and rarely use it. Only when someone asks you in daily conversation, How many ways could these seven Scrabble letters be combined? you could figure out the answer.
No, No, He is a living God, who is watching over me. He is my Shepherd, He restores my soul. He leads me to still waters, leads me down paths of righteousness for His name's sake. He has plans for Mike and I. And we want to do whatever He asks.
We have to listen.
Heal me oh Lord, that I might do your will to your glory, for the rest of my life.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Asking for prayers
Dear Friends,
Chemo #4 is Tuesday. How the time FLIES...
How thankful I am to all you who are helping, in ways that might seem small to you but they are HUGE MOUNTAINS of LOVE AND KINDNESS to me and to Mike. Every word, e-mail, phone message, meal, flower, prayer, mall walk, walk anywhere, devoting days to me, lunch, tea, hand sanitizer packets, air aromatherapy, car ride, soup, book, pashmina, movies, etc are beautiful times for me to see God's love in action. And I know this is tiring, as this has been going on since the end of April.
But you guys are all so good to hang in there with me! It is as if each kindness is a flower, and all together they compose the most beautiful bouquet, or really a breath-taking field of wildflowers.
I am asking once again for your prayers for me (and Mike) tomorrow:
- Dr. M decides tomorrow whether this is the last chemo or we do 2 more, please ask the Holy Spirit give him discernment (then comes radiation)
- That the Chemo drugs do their job killing every single errant cell in my body
- That my body stay strong and functioning
- Mike (my one and only caregiver this time) has a really busy day job right now too, so may Jesus lighten his yoke and grant him peace that passes understanding
- May my eyes stay focused on Jesus
Thank you again, dear ones. Ever Onward and Upward...
Chemo #4 is Tuesday. How the time FLIES...
How thankful I am to all you who are helping, in ways that might seem small to you but they are HUGE MOUNTAINS of LOVE AND KINDNESS to me and to Mike. Every word, e-mail, phone message, meal, flower, prayer, mall walk, walk anywhere, devoting days to me, lunch, tea, hand sanitizer packets, air aromatherapy, car ride, soup, book, pashmina, movies, etc are beautiful times for me to see God's love in action. And I know this is tiring, as this has been going on since the end of April.
But you guys are all so good to hang in there with me! It is as if each kindness is a flower, and all together they compose the most beautiful bouquet, or really a breath-taking field of wildflowers.
I am asking once again for your prayers for me (and Mike) tomorrow:
- Dr. M decides tomorrow whether this is the last chemo or we do 2 more, please ask the Holy Spirit give him discernment (then comes radiation)
- That the Chemo drugs do their job killing every single errant cell in my body
- That my body stay strong and functioning
- Mike (my one and only caregiver this time) has a really busy day job right now too, so may Jesus lighten his yoke and grant him peace that passes understanding
- May my eyes stay focused on Jesus
Thank you again, dear ones. Ever Onward and Upward...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Chemo # 3
It's time for another jump into healing!
Thank you Lord for Docetaxol and Cyclophosphamide (the two chemo drugs) and how they will zip around my body today and kill all those new/fast growing cells..
Thank you for the Dexamethasone and Benedryl that prevent damage to the good parts of my body.
Thank you for the Avelox that is zapping my ex-sinus infection.
Thank you for the healing I have seen in my throat, and from surgery.
Thank you for the doctors and nurses and acupuncture, all the people and technology you provide for us.
Thank you for Mike and S right here, right now, with me.
Thank you for Corey, Mack, Tray and their loving hearts.
Thank you for all the community of friends you have surrounded me with. Their love and compassion (and food and conversations and e-mails and cards and prayers) are overwhelmingly fantabulous (that really should be a word, don't you think?)
Thank you for the community who is praying for me. I don't know all of them for I have been told I am on many prayer lists. But I know prayer works.
May all those who are supporting me, be blessed by you Lord. May they have an extra portion of your peace and joy today. They are faithful, they have believing hearts and trusting spirits. They are putting into action your words:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God.
And the peace of God, which passes all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4
This is our family of five in Miami back in January.
Yes, Mack is eating dinner out of a wooden duck, Mike's was served in an iron pig, Tray has lobster mac and cheese, Corey's is served in some sort of an upside down hat.
I had hair.
This was a really fun dinner, eccentric with creative and delicious food.
We will be back...
This is our family of five in Miami back in January. Yes, Mack is eating dinner out of a wooden duck, Mike's was served in an iron pig, Tray has lobster mac and cheese, Corey's is served in some sort of an upside down hat. I had hair. This was a really fun dinner, eccentric with creative and delicious food. Barton G. We will be back...
Thank you Lord for Docetaxol and Cyclophosphamide (the two chemo drugs) and how they will zip around my body today and kill all those new/fast growing cells..
Thank you for the Dexamethasone and Benedryl that prevent damage to the good parts of my body.
Thank you for the Avelox that is zapping my ex-sinus infection.
Thank you for the healing I have seen in my throat, and from surgery.
Thank you for the doctors and nurses and acupuncture, all the people and technology you provide for us.
Thank you for Mike and S right here, right now, with me.
Thank you for Corey, Mack, Tray and their loving hearts.
Thank you for all the community of friends you have surrounded me with. Their love and compassion (and food and conversations and e-mails and cards and prayers) are overwhelmingly fantabulous (that really should be a word, don't you think?)
Thank you for the community who is praying for me. I don't know all of them for I have been told I am on many prayer lists. But I know prayer works.
May all those who are supporting me, be blessed by you Lord. May they have an extra portion of your peace and joy today. They are faithful, they have believing hearts and trusting spirits. They are putting into action your words:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God.
And the peace of God, which passes all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4
This is our family of five in Miami back in January.
Yes, Mack is eating dinner out of a wooden duck, Mike's was served in an iron pig, Tray has lobster mac and cheese, Corey's is served in some sort of an upside down hat.
I had hair.
This was a really fun dinner, eccentric with creative and delicious food.
We will be back...
This is our family of five in Miami back in January. Yes, Mack is eating dinner out of a wooden duck, Mike's was served in an iron pig, Tray has lobster mac and cheese, Corey's is served in some sort of an upside down hat. I had hair. This was a really fun dinner, eccentric with creative and delicious food. Barton G. We will be back...
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