Flatness to my left and right. Tumbleweeds and sandstone rocks, mainly patches of dry open desert. The road is arrow straight. I am alone walking. Walking. Walking. I am wearing beige and brown loose clothes, and brown sturdy sandals. I have no scarf or hat on, no hair. The sun is not too bright, even though I am not wearing sunglasses.
The road leads to a rocky hill, dark brown and reddish with some green showing in the crags. It is not a smooth hill, it is folding and undulating. It is miles and miles away, just a bump on the horizon. A hill in the middle of the desert.
But I am peaceful. I am not thirsty or scared or lonely in the least. I question myself, Why I am not scared? I don't answer with words. I just shrug my shoulders and smile and keep walking. Some voice from above my head asks me how I feel. I answer, "tired." One of the words on my stones.
There are rough stones and rocks strewn everywhere on the ground, dust at each step. Walk past a sign next to the road. It says, "I am with you always", which is from the end of Matthew.
I tilt my head up, I can feel God's presence here. All around me. I am tired, but I keep walking. Peaceful. Walking slowly.
I warp ahead to the foot of the hill (aren't dreams great like that.) The path goes around a corner that was hidden by a rocky wall. I am now at a stream about eight feet wide. The other side of the stream is green and lush, and smells of cool breezes and flowers. There are gorgeous trees over there with big personalities. It is a verdant English countryside forest with filtered light and blue butterflies and white daisies.
There is a small bridge of roped-together planks, swinging and rickety. Jesus is standing on this side of the bridge. He puts out his hand towards me. I give him my three stones. I get it, that the stone saying "long" is my fear. I have handed it to Him, He has taken it from me.
He takes my hand and helps me cross the bridge. He silently lets go of my hand and walks away. I am so relieved to be safe on the other side. I end the dream standing there, just smiling ear to ear. Taking in the cool and the beauty and the peacefulness.
The three stones, here's my thoughts:
"tired" is how I feel now. Simple to figure this one out. He will restore my soul, He will recharge me. Not much emotion with this one, I'm just tired.
"long" is my fear. This is a long journey. Sometimes it seems so difficult. Can I keep on going? Am I doing it right? And will I succeed? I have always thought that I am good in a crisis, but boy it is so much more difficult to be disciplined and committed for the long haul. It is human nature to loose focus and patience and to keep on the path day after day after day. To stay in His presence all day long. "I can do it, I can do it" and then the next morning "Do I have to do it again?"
"vital" is my future. I want to live, not only just survive but LIVE with capital letters. I want to be enthusiastic for all God wants me to do here on earth. I want to be free from worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. I want to be filled with the Spirit and let His love overflow through me and out onto every single person I am with. I want the priorities of my life to be corrected. I have never thought of the word "vital", but it's a good one. I want to live so that God gets the credit.
I have handed these three to Jesus, my fear, my future and my present. He is in control and what a wonderful thing that is for me.
I take this dream as encouragement. My life is entering a new chapter. This past week my body has been reacting to chemo, first zapping cancer cells then getting to the work of healing the healthy part of my body, once again. It is like walking through a desert at times. Interesting that I wasn't scared or lonely in this dream. Fantastic that I got a glimpse of the "vital" future, the green and lush and healthy.
I will be patient. He will guide me there.
