Ten years ago, where did you want to be today?Are you there?
Ten years ago, I did not want to be sitting on this sofa with a scarf on my hairless head, mindfully meditating on my body healing from an infection as well as from cancer.
I can also honestly say that, right now, this is exactly where I do want to be. I was stopped in my tracks, shaken up and stirred. I was made to be still. My eyes were turned upward towards God and inward towards my soul. I am learning how much God loves me. And wants to be with me. All day long.
From Isaiah 30:
Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and confidence is your strength.
Where ever you are right now, regardless of whether this was your plan, know that God will use this time for good. For you, for others, who knows. God knows...
This gives me encouragement, that God is in control. And that the end of the story is a good one.
Remember the story of Joseph in Genesis, such a fantastic story. What does Joseph say to his brothers when they find out he is a ruler in Egypt and they were so sorry for having sold him into slavery?
He says, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
It took Joseph a long time to get to the point where he saw his sufferings as turning out to have meaning. And certainly not all we call bumps in the road are anything near what he endured.
I know God will use this time in my life for good.
For me, I have already seen good things.
Good for others, He will show me what He wants me to do.
Something I wrote last week, wrote in the back of the book Love Medicine and Miracles:
I want to live.
I want to grow old. I want to hug my grandkids.
I have a voice.
I say, no this isn't too hard.
I don't want to be afraid anymore that I am doing this wrong.
I can learn to take care of me.
I can find my joy.
I can choose what to do.
I can fail, I'll just get up and try again.
I can tell God all my complaints, He wants to hear them.
He replaces them with His words.
He sings a song to my heart.
I lift my eyes to the Lord.
Thank you.
He is healing me.
