By all the media, I am reminded to give thanks in all situations, which is such a good message I need to hear over and over. How cool is that!
Right now I feel tired and achy, like I am getting the flu but I'm not. My muscles or tendons are all just exhausted. Doctors tell me I will feel tired through January. I'm ready to feel good now! I overdid it a week ago. I have been recovering all week. The radiation area is sunburned, and stinging. As it is swollen, it is a bit uncomfortable getting dressed. Nothing hurts badly, just uncomfortable.
In reading over this, I sound discouraged. Do I want some cheese with my WHINE? Tempted to erase this entry, but want to be honest. This is tough in a different way than chemo or surgery. It's two marathons, right in a row. I'm ready to do things. I have things that are my responsibility (thinking my dad, Mac, household stuff), there are things I need to do, and things that are fun to do...
I want to remember this when others are going through a tough time, needing love. When my mother died I was lifted up solidly for a week with visits and notes and flowers from everyone. Which was great. Truly great, showered with kindnesses. It was my dear friends who kept touching base with me after a month or two. I have tried to remember that grieving takes time, to be attuned to my friends over the long haul. I'm not always good with that...
Those friends and family who are steadfast, well, they remind me of an anonymous saying :
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
We are going to my aunt and uncle's home in Vero Beach for Thanksgiving. She is my mother's sister. That might be part of my sadness this morning, I miss my mother at random times (she died in 2009.) My aunt reminds me of Mom. Holidays are extreme emotions, missing loved ones that aren't with you, enjoying loved ones that are. Mix in with those emotions the fact that the loved ones who are still with you might drive you crazy, and you have a holiday!
Doesn't the world look a little grayer when you are exhausted?
Neat that I got a gift at my front door this morning, oh boy is it neat. It is nine little wood cut angels from a street market in Prague. Christmas Tree ornaments, each playing a musical instrument. Growing up, we had a "band" of elves as ornaments. I loved them, can remember rearranging them on the tree. You wanted to have them all together, as if they were really playing Christmas carols.We have lost all of them, they were played with by Mack and Corey too. Now I have a band of angels for our tree. YEAH! Thank you D.... Thinking of me in Prague, Bethlehem, Venice, Murano... Double neat that Mack and Tray are driving to Tray's grandparents for Thanksgiving, and taking my mother's (passed down from HER mother) Chestnut and Sausage Stuffing. It is the BEST.
Today's radiation treatment was two hours long. Because of the swelling, my tattoos have moved relative to each other so they had to take more x-rays and the radiologist had to recalibrate.
 | ||||
The people that work there are so upbeat, so sensitive to treating you as a person. They made the two hours of up/ down/ in/ out/ back/ forth so much easier. The hallways are painted like Florida county landscapes.
So, my prayer requests for today:
1. Thank you Lord for healing me so graciously through the months
2. I ask for patience
3. May your wisdom and your hands guide the radiation technicians
4. Please heal my sunburn, and direct me to see if there is anything I can do to help
5. May my words and attitudes over Thanksgiving weekend show love
=========================
Here's from a friend's email...
For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends. (R.W. Emerson)
