With all good and kind intentions, you occasionally hear words spoken for your edification that you can't believe people are truly telling you.
With all good and kind intentions, you occasionally hear words spoken for your edification that you can't believe people are truly telling you.
By more than one person, I have been told to go to a different doctor, use different chemo, to not have radiation, to not have chemo. And some have asked, why didn't I get a mastectomy?
My answer, everyone's situation is unique. I wish them all the best.
Listen to my dream of two nights ago.
I am sitting on the second floor porch of my home growing up, a gray wood sided colonial in Easton Pennsylvania. I am peacefully sitting in a comfy chair with my feet up on an ottoman, it's a pleasant sunny day with nice breeze.
I hear the doorbell ring, but I am almost asleep, so I don't answer it. I figure someone else will. Next I hear a friend's voice calling up to me from the yard next door, we will call her Helga so she remains anonymous to you, "Hey Sara, I want to come up and visit with you. You can spare a few minutes to talk, can't you?"
I look down, I am tired, but she looks like she won't take "no" for an answer. I say, "Come on up."
She appears on the porch (that's the beauty of dreams), and we move to chairs in the shade on the porch as she says she is too hot in the sun. We sit down, we chat for a few minutes. Then she wants to take me for a drive. I am okay about this, and next thing you know we are in a silver Mercedes sedan (I don't know what that means.)
She is driving. Fast. Really fast. On a tree lined country road. We are passing cars, even going onto the shoulder to pass cars. The trees whip by. We speed past a red truck parked on the side almost hitting it, and I am scared.
I tell her I'm scared that she is going too fast, and she laughs and keeps speeding.
That's the dream. It makes sense to me this morning. I have been trying to figure it out, and now it makes sense.
As you know, people in dreams are representations of a part of your own self, of the subconscious. People aren't in our dreams as themselves. So I try to think, what does that person represent in my life. Particularly, what unsettled emotion in my life does she represent.
Helga was the very first person who suggested a different doctor than the one I chose. She represents me questioning my treatments, questioning the decisions I am making and questioning that the outcome will be total healing.
What does my subconscious want to tell me in this dream? What is unsettled? Don't take even the first step down the path of doubting, as it is a slippery slope. One step, two steps, and I am in a speeding car... it's dangerous. So it's not really an unsettled issue, more of confirmation that I should trust the path I am on. Trust God, don't have my head turned to the left or right. Stay in His presence.
Stop negative thoughts immediately - catch them and throw them out the window. They can be persistent. They can be couched in good intentions. But NO...
Nourish the hope. Stand firm on what I know.
God will shine light on my path, one stepping stone at a time.
Thank you Lord.
